*** be with a neighbor or a friend all day, but send a child in the evening to him/ her requesting a ‘small soft loan’ ( which in Greek/Latin/Sanscrit means it’s not repayable ;
***chew on a long tooth pick after eating a solitary mandazi or half a loaf washed down with pipe water to give an impression the lunch was spare ribs and fried rice;
***address people half ones age: Mzee or Mamee;
***perpetually have zero balance in the phone a/c and send flash calls to be called back;
***if a civil servant, be ‘in a meeting all day on working days;
***be in the office working hard invisibly by hanging the same jacket on the back of the chair;
***be in the bar in the evenings without fail which ones well endowed friends frequent;
***use ‘whereby’ weather it’s appropriate in a sentence or not;
***use ‘can be able to’ , ‘no anything’ , ‘despite of’ in the meanings of ‘be able to’ , ‘nothing’ , and ‘in spite of’
***be seen in a suit (often in a 3 piece one) for example in the sweltering heat of Mombasa attending a presidential function – this goes for PSs, MPs, Ministers, too.
***buy a car on bank loan and forget servicing it until the engine oil turns into solid grease;
***entrust the car with jua-kali mechanics than with established ones;
***stalling the car in a busy city street if in order if it is due to an empty fuel tank;
***firmly believe that ones MP/Minister has problems with KACC because of his/her tribe;
***believe that car safety belts are for traffic cops’ protection;
*** heap ones plate to the brim hoping to consume all but discards enough for two hungry Kenyans;
***trust that he/she is immune to AIDS virus whether a condom is used or not;
***believe the women in the oldest profession should also give you grace time to pay for services rendered.( If they don’t beat them up)
***believe in keeping children away from home during vacations by offering teachers financial inducements to conduct ‘revision classes’;
*** believe the last bill to pay or that can be evaded all together is school fees;
***if possible, be a stranger to the school principal and deal with any issues by remote control (using uncles or aunts of the child);
***believe there is nothing like a ‘last date’;
***drop in the church on the way to the pub;
***believe the more the wives and the more girlfriends, the merrier irrespective of income to support them;
**believe the best architects of proper character for kids are teachers. So one arrives home very late after they sleep and leaves very early before they wake up……..(also to have the stabilizing shot at the local brewer);
***believe that loved ones can’t graduate or one we love can’t embark or disembark a plane without the whole village in the graduation square or a multitude milling around the departure/arrival area of the airport; (if in doubt check and find out how many MPs followed the Okambo-6 to the Hague or how many saw them off at JKIA).
***believe in the dictum ‘no hurry in Africa’ as far as burials are concerned and therefore explore the possibility of creating a court case regarding a dispute as a priority;
***

I am a Kenyan, but no other other tips come to mind. I’m sure you will recognize me as Kenyan because I am bound to do one or more of the above as a habit. Bear with me.