We are going to keep rolling with Shelly, from the HBO documentary THIN, because I can see you are all relating quite well. This dialogue is good for Shelly and for all of you.

I want to highlight the paragraph below because it strikes at the core of what I believe is a major issue for many of the girls of this community. My hope for each and every one of you, is you can reach the place Shelly has achieved, the place where I live as well, because this is a place of peace and contentment beyond compare:

“I guess I was scared to really look at my life because I was afraid that I wouldn’t like the person I was growing up to be.  Actually, honestly, I guess I was more afraid that people wouldn’t like the person I was.  So I hid behind an eating disorder and a raging addiction so I would have an excuse for why people didn’t like me.  I always had some disorder or dysfunction in my life to blame.  And now, since I am I am recovery I don’t have those things to fall back on and if people don’t like me or what I do, I know have to realize that it is their choice and I don’t have to take responsibility for them or their feelings.”

If you take away anything from Shelly’s statement it’s to live your life for you.

The take away from me is to pound this mantra into your head – life is not about making people like you.

On to Shelly’s thoughts for the day;

So finding out who I am has become the priority in my recovery.  Trading in the identity I have lived with for so long for an identity that more accurately reflects who I am is daunting.  Sometimes I wonder where I fit in this huge, scary world.  While in the throes of my disorder I knew I fit in the world of eating disorders and I was comfortable there.  I could relate to people who were struggling and I am sad to say I shared tips and thinspiration.  I fed off the energy that others with ED had and often I became competitive with others.  Every part of my day revolved around my eating disorder.  Everything I did during the day was focused on how to get thinner and keep myself sick. 

Now, here is where the difficult and fearful part of my recovery comes into play.  When I finally resigned to the fact that I would give up my eating disorder, my addiction, and any other self-destructive coping mechanism I was left with 24 hours day to fill with things to do.  I felt lost, confused, and extremely afraid. What was I going to do?  I had no idea.  When I voiced this concern to others they would tell me that I could do anything I wanted.  I tried to believe them but deep down I was frightened and didn’t know if I could really play this whole recovery game.  But I decided I would at least try it.  I felt like there was no harm in trying and if I didn’t like it then I could always go back to my disease(s). 

I have to be honest… at first I didn’t like it.  But I didn’t dislike it as much as I disliked being consumed with negative thoughts all day long.  Negative thoughts did come and they still do, but I treat them differently.  I don’t listen to what they tell me.  I just notice them and let them go.  Accepting them and being aware was the first part of my recovery.  When the thoughts told me that I shouldn’t eat that french fry…I ate more than one.  It was difficult, but as I became more and more aware the thoughts became less and less powerful.  I kept fighting and I made a commitment to not give up until I tried my absolute hardest for at least a year (I usually don’t like putting time frames on things but I did this time to keep myself going.) 

It was so difficult that sometimes I would pace up and down my hallway because I was so anxious.  I was trying to find things to do.  I read, I knitted, I walked outside, I cried, I cleaned,  I made my meals and then when my husband came home from work I spent time with him. The most important thing I did (and am still doing), however, was to look deep within myself.  I started to figure out how I liked to spend my time, what my morals and values are, what makes me happy, what pisses me off, what stresses me out, how to handle it, etc. 

It was overwhelming because in ten years I had not let myself look at things.  For the past ten years I was merely surviving and I realize now that my ED and my addiction were merely distracting me from doing anything, especially finding out who I was. I guess I was scared to really look at my life because I was afraid that I wouldn’t like the person I was growing up to be.  Actually, honestly, I guess I was more afraid that people wouldn’t like the person I was.  So I hid behind an eating disorder and a raging addiction so I would have an excuse for why people didn’t like me.  I always had some disorder or dysfunction in my life to blame.  And now, since I am I am recovery I don’t have those things to fall back on and if people don’t like me or what I do, I know have to realize that it is their choice and I don’t have to take responsibility for them or their feelings. 

Slowly, it is staring to get a little easier and I am grateful I didn’t give up. I am now trying to find a job.  The nursing field is stressful and because I am now just starting to take care of myself I don’t feel I am ready to take care of people in that environment just yet.  Plus, I might go back to school because I am healthy to do so.  I guess I feel like I CAN really do anything I want to do.  I hate to admit when I am wrong, but I guess everyone was right…again!

To those of you who are fighting don’t give up no matter how hard it gets…you have already made the commitment to at least start to fight.  For those of you contemplating recovery my hope is that you try before it is too late. 

Nowadays I go to bed so tired and drained.  And it is not because I haven’t eaten or purged all day…It is because I working my ass (not literally) off to get better.

-Shelly

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African Press International – API source.mamaVision

By Jeff Otieno, Kisumu-Kenya

A group of conmen who have of late taken the Lake Side city of Kisumu by storm for the last 1 year were ultimately arrested over the weekend.

The cartel which has been targeting leading Hotels in the city were this time round unlucky when they met the full wrath of the hawk eyed Kisumu police led by the Provincial Police Officer (P.P.O) Antony Kibuchi.

It all started at the magnificent Sunset Hotel on Sunday morning when the trio, two gentlemen and a young lady who were identified as Tanzanian Nationals went to the Hotel pretending to be looking for a guest who had spent there the previous night.

At the Hotel, they went straight into the breakfast room and placed an order which they didn’t take. They instead sneaked into the lift to go upstairs to accomplish their mission.

Their agenda up the ladder took a stunning four minutes and they left bagging something and took off in a car with a foreign number plate T254 ARM tinted grey in colour.

Stung by the rush, the management went into the rooms to peruse what could have transpired and found that the trio had forcefully entered into one of the rooms and took an Ipod and a laptop of a lady foreigner working with Catholic Relief Services.

The management of the Hotel promptly alerted the Police who moved in and arrested the tormenting cartel. They were positively identified and even the gadget they used to open the room was found in their vehicle.

They were immediately taken to court and charged and later given a bond of kshs.50,000 each.

Hotels in the city are on record to have sacked their workers on suspicion that they are the ones who are stealing from the clients in the rooms.

Sources confided to this writer that members of this group were once deeply involved in another illegal trade (wash wash) imposters operating as money minters in the lakeside city and its environs fleecing people but ceased to operate courtesy of adverse publicity from Kisumu based journalists.

To add credence to the claim that the gang is linked to the once notorious wash wash group, precincts of Kisumu court was literally packed to capacity on Monday this week by the said members who were trying to salvage part of their conduit.

Its worth noting and interesting that in a span of one week they have stormed Sunset,Vunduba and Imperial Hotels posing as customers. At Imperial Hotel a Swiz National who is an Engineer by Professional by the name Evan met the wrath of this entrenched cartel when he lost about kshs.100,000 and a laptop in his room

END

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 As we celebrate the International Day of the African Child today, Komarocks Community Development Network is concerned about the plight of that child.

Four days ago, Cynthia Njeri, a 7 year old child was raped and then killed in Sagana village, Kirinyaga District. Her body and burnt books were retrieved by the police from a shallow grave. Njeri was a pupil at Gacharu Primary School.

Yesterday, Stephen Muchoki killed his 2 children in Thika, then he killed himself.

Same yesterday, a woman killed her new born baby in Ganjoni Estate Mombasa after giving birth.

These are very disturbing signs of the times. As we celebrate the International Day of the African Child, we must pause and reflect on what causes this kind of meanness towards children.

Let us make it our responsibility to mind about the welfare of our children, with that firm knowledge that a child belongs to the society.

It is very disheartening to see images of children suffering in the hands of adults, some as close as their own parents. The sad case is that in almost all cases, the police have a standard statement; investigations have been launched to apprehend the offenders.

Yet, we do not see any persons brought and charged in courts with offences relating to child abuse, murder and or neglect.

KCDN will take up all the cases of child rape and murder with the police up to their logical conclusions.

Odhiambo T Oketch,
CEO KCDN Nairobi

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API

Posted to API by Catherine Mills
 
Atlantis formed 10 ruling districts, each with their own king. These kings together formed the governing council of Atlantis.- The royal governing council of Atlantis decide that a new form of government was desperately needed in which a superior ruling class could be established and sustained by their pretense that they had been empowered by a God-Force. Autocracy was thus born and was in full control enforcing a period of peace and stability.

To achieve controll over the populas, they started experiment with the people’s DNA and genetics .

 This resulted in the peoples consciousness being reduced, life spans contracted and psychic/spiritual abilities dramatically decreasing. 

The original people of Lemuria are a previous hybridization from 7 genetic code structures from within Orion Union, designed to best fit the earth climate and cosmic ray environment which  then existent on earth.

Orientals originated from the ancient races of Lemuria.

 new comment on the post #6382 “The U.S. Government’s Black mind manipulation: the real Black Matrix” is waiting for your approval
http://africanpress.wordpress.com/2008/06/09/the-us-governments-black-mind-manipulation-the-real-black-matrix/

Author : sisterrosetta (IP: 72.208.130.215 , ip72-208-130-215.ph.ph.cox.net)

URL    :
Whois  : http://ws.arin.net/cgi-bin/whois.pl?queryinput=72.208.130.215
Comment:
“The U.S. Governments Black mind manipulation: the real Black Matrix?”

Well, if we are being manipulated, all governments are suspect, not only government of United States of America.

Again, if we are being manipulated, chances are we all are.  Let’s not forget our Black, Brown, Red, White and Yellow brothers and sisters.

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API

Posted to API by : sisterrosetta (IP: 72.208.130.215 , ip72-208-130-215.ph.ph.cox.net)

Comment:

Posted on Sat, Jun. 07, 2008
Matt Stearns | McClatchy Newspapers
last updated: June 08, 2008 01:14:46 PM

http://www.mcclatchydc.com/100/story/40203.html

WASHINGTON  Bettyjean Kling is tough, she’s mad and she’s about ready to kick some pasty MSNBC butt.

“Chris Matthews, I can’t even look at him anymore,” Kling spat as she waited for Hillary Clinton to take the stage. “What’s the name of that other nut?”

“Keith Olbermann,” offered a friend.

“Keith Obama-man,” growled Kling, a retired special ed teacher from Shippensburg, Pa.

Hillary Clinton’s campaign valedictory was “the very definition of bittersweet,” said Rep. Anthony Weiner, D-N.Y., a longtime Clinton supporter, who insisted that the greater goal of a Democratic White House would unite those who gathered on a steamy day in the cavernous main hall of the National Building Museum.

It seemed to be more bitter than sweet for many, however, with special acid reserved for the media. Several of the hundreds gathered here said they thought that unfair news coverage helped Illinois Sen. Barack Obama win the Democratic presidential nomination. Other common culprits were the Democratic National Committee and the party superdelegates, who helped swing the nomination to Obama in the last few weeks.

“I’m mad at everybody,” said Darla Stone, a prison nurse from Locust Grove, Va.

In the excitement over Obama’s emergence as the first African-American to win a major party presidential nomination, it’s easy to forget that Clinton very nearly made history of her own  and was favored to do for much of the past 16 months.

Not so easy, though, for those who saw their own hopes and frustrations reflected in Clinton.

“I’ve been really sad the last few days,” said Donna Richbourg, a retired federal employee from Potomac, Md. who switched parties to vote for Clinton in the Maryland primary. “Before that, I was extremely mad.”

Drawn to Clinton by “her tenacity, her resilience, her intelligence, the depth of her knowledge;” aghast at a media she felt ignored or belittled those things, Richbourg drew this conclusion from the campaign: “There’s more sexism than racism in America.”

Obama, meanwhile, has some work to do. Some Clinton voters said they’d vote for John McCain, the Republican nominee. Some said they wouldn’t vote at all. Many were grudgingly accepting.

“Will I vote for McCain? No,” said Angelia Ifantides, a teacher from Fairfax, Va. who wore a pink t-shirt with Clinton’s face silk-screened on it in red. “Will I put an Obama sticker on my car? Probably not. I’ll accept it in November. I have right to be angry ’til then.”

Clinton gave a gracious speech, reminding those gathered and the 18 million who voted for her that much more united them than separated them; that “our paths have merged” with Obama’s.

While Clinton acknowledged the heartache many of her supporters felt  and that she surely shared  she urged them to tough it out and put it behind them.

“Every moment wasted looking back keeps us from moving forward,” Clinton concluded. “That’s why I’m going to work my heart out to make Barack Obama president.”

Applause  hardly universal, and scattered with boos  filled the hall.

At the back of the room, shoulders slumped, stood Bettyjean Kling. She slowly shook her curly-haired head side to side. She wiped away tears.

She didn’t clap.

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Related story:
http://africanpress.wordpress.com/2008/06/08/hillary-endorses-obama-historic-chapter-has-began-in-america/

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African Press International – api

The Mufti of the Muslim Ullamah Council of Malawi, chairperson Abbasi Cassim, on Monday urged Muslims throughout the country to take part in prayers aimed at bringing peace and food security in the country.

Speaking in a special address to the Muslim community, after a three-day prayer to end political squabbles the country are facing, Sheik Abbassi said the problems which Malawi was facing could only end with the assistance of prayers.

\”We are still encouraging our Muslims brothers and sisters in the country, regardless of sect or association, to pray for peace so that our leaders should solve the current problems before they reach crisis levels,\” he said.

Malawi has been rocked up with political instability over defecting MP’s in Parliament, and this stand off has relegated parliamentary business to the back burner.

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API source.apa

This is a good indication that when the Earth turns on its axis, this seed vault will be in a prime location for growing these seeds. Either full of Illuminati or prisoner slaves of theirs growing the crops! 

The shipment amounts to a 100 million seeds in total, ranging from major African and Asian food staples like maize, rice, and wheat to European and South American varieties of eggplant, lettuce, barley, and potato, according to the Global Crop Diversity Trust, which is paying to collect and maintain the seeds. Watch as “Doomsday” seed vault opens »

Eventually the Svalbard Global Seed Vault, as it is officially known, will hold as many as 4.5 million distinct samples of seeds — or some 2 billion seeds in total — encompassing almost every variety of most important food crops in the world, the Global Crop Diversity Trust said.

 

The Norwegian government says it has paid 50 million Norwegian Kroner ($9.4 million) to build the seed vault. E-mail to a friend

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Justice Must Be Seen, To Be Done.